Field Trips

Let's be honest... Some guys define "commitment" as "the surgical reimplantation of the umbilical cord to a new maternal host."

We should celebrate the occasion of a person finding their equal in another but there should be clearly defined boundaries for both involved. How many of us have friends that use their significant other as a social home-monitoring bracelet? Children are a completely understandable factor in this circumstance; hell, that DVD player isn't going to turn on and play "SpongeBob" by itself. For the rest, however, their partner becomes the automatic excuse to preempt any attempt at fun by having to seek out prior permission.

Overheard when planning a recent outing to a weekend sporting event: " I'd like to go but I think my fiancee doesn't have plans which means I have plans."

And yet we remain friends with these people... Why? The reasons are simple: committed friends need single friends to remind them of places and times free from responsibilities and full of while single friends need committed friends to remind them why they're single in the first place. They co-exist as examples for each other.

The debate shouldn't be focused on whether a guy is trained into this position, openly sought out to be in this situation, or a combination of the two; instead, the discussion should be how to provide him with positive reinforcement and opportunities to act like the drunk lunatic originally befriended.

Heaven knows not all of us have not been able to grasp the concept of commitment for we drink half & half and live with the television permanently set on picture-in-picture; still, odds are we'll be naturally inclined to head down that path at some point and when that day comes we should all pray that those we call our friends have contingency plans for such an event. So come on, come out and have a beer with us and stop being such a pussywhipped little bitch.