Let's be honest... There is nothing funnier than fashion trends that come out of Williamsburg, unless of course it's a fashion trend out of Williamsburg featured in a Wall Street Journal article about four years too late. What is on tap for their next issue, supporting a charity while looking trendy with a LIVESTRONG bracelet accessory?
But skip past the obviously slow news day at WSJ headquarters and focus on the meat and bones of the matter: skinny jeans. Testicular ischemia-inducing denim leggings are not anything new. They were popular in the 1960s, reborn in the 1980s, and like clockwork have come back again in the 2000s; some would even argue that they have never really gone away since their initial popularity and have survived year by year traveling from one niche to another. Nonetheless, when the mania reaches a peak as it has (or did) in the past few years it is hard not to notice and create a definite opinion when confronted with it on a near-daily basis.
Let us be clear: we're not talking about slim jeans, rather those pairs of you-can-see-my-leg-veins-through-the-denim, do-you-think-this-lump-on-my-penis-could-be-malignant, I-hire-dwarves-to-hand-sew-denim-to-my-body-every-morning jeans. Proponents claim validity in the aesthetic behind buzz terms like "clean profile" or "Dior-inspired" similar to the way the public justified the castration of young boys in the Middle Ages so as that they later be hailed as angelic Castrato singers. Undoubtedly, it's not just a look, it's a lifestyle.
Look, you're not circa-1960s Mick Jagger or Iggy Pop, you walk about as "normally" as a samurai-era previously foot-bound Japanese woman, and are you completely sure you're comfortable with publicly displaying that Rolo you call a dick? Ironically, those jeans should actually be freeing up more oxygen-enriched blood to flow to your head to better enable you to realize just how fucktarded you look.
No comments:
Post a Comment